Turning The Page: New Beginnings After Moving On

What feels right always feels good. 

Until it doesn't, and it no longer feels good anymore.

It was the fall semester before I graduated from college, and I wasn't going to graduate on time. I hated my work-study during that time, and I desperately thought the dream I wanted so badly to be in the broadcasting world was coming to a fatal end. I felt lost, and thought maybe I shouldn’t be in college. I thought dropping out, working a 9-5, going home, and going out on the weekend would make me happier–easier. 

It was the middle of the day, before I had to go to a class where a professor was deliberately against me. I didn't have it in me to go, let alone participate. That’s when I asked God for a sign. With tears in my eyes and a beating headache, I asked for clarity. I specifically asked him for help. 

“Help me with my purpose and show me that what I want in this life is worth it. Show me it is for me”. 

 I was sitting in class, not paying attention, needing hope when I applied for a job at the local news station as a production assistant. They wanted someone with experience, something I didn’t have yet, but what the hell, it doesn’t hurt to try, right? 

Later that day, while I was at the work-study I hated, I missed an unknown number dropping off sealed letters to the university’s post office for my boss. I never answer unknown numbers, let alone call back; however, a voice told me to call the number. So, I did. It was the production manager at News15 asking to speak to Reagan Schneckenburg. I damn near jumped. I remember stopping dead in my tracks in the work-study computer lab, not blinking once. 

I started working at News15 the very next week. 

A year and a month later, a mass of employees were cut due to budget constraints. I was one of them. The hurt, the pain, and the dream were shattered without warning. 

When you want something or someone so bad, you’ll do anything, blame, force, manipulate, and beg for it. You would spend hours, days, and nights wondering how you can get it. 

“What can I do to earn it?”

“Why isn’t this easy for me?” 

“How can I get this?”

Life is a revolving door. Some close, some open, and glasses to doors can break. We all want consistency and stability, but what if that’s not what life is about? What if life is about the ability to bounce back, continuing to evolve, and how well you can adapt to change? Change can be hard, evolving can look dysfunctional, and bouncing back can often look like struggling. But what would you rather have? Stale and stagnancy, living the same normalcy you were before, or leveling up to a better you? 

In relationships, we assume history and time matter. No matter what that person did to you, you’re willing to stay because of what the two of you built or created, whether that be good times, getting to know their family, or, for some of us, having children. We tell ourselves they can change, it will get better, or you’ll be different. While people can change, things can get better, and the two of you can do things differently; however, if we pay attention to the signs, we can always tell when something has run its course and is coming to an end. A lot of people hate starting over, dating from scratch, the thought of being vulnerable and getting to know someone else, with the thought that this may not work, often keeps us in the same relationship that prevents us and makes us believe it’ll never work with someone else. So we stay, continue to get hurt, trust becomes harder, our hearts close, we become miserable, project our feelings onto others' relationships, and become susceptible to insecurities.

Months before I was laid off, we were told there were going to be budget cuts. We were also told it wasn’t going to be any of the production staff. Nonetheless, that was the sign for me. But, because I wanted that job so badly and I was now more than a production assistant, I thought being cut wasn’t going to happen to me. After being laid off, I continued to stay in Lafayette, hoping and applying to other news stations, waiting to get my job back, and accepting other jobs that made me miserable when the truth was I should’ve left Lafayette sooner than I did, looking for opportunities elsewhere. 

It’s so hard for us to move on because we want that special thing or someone so bad that failing at it or them makes us feel insecure, useless, and unworthy, so we’re willing to do anything to not feel like that. Just because we want it doesn’t mean it's for us in the way we’re expecting. 

Keep your heart open. 

Know what you deserve. 

Allow the past to be the past. 

Move on with an open mind to the next best thing and watch something magical happen for you on the other side. When your mind is open, your heart becomes softer, and when your heart becomes softer, opportunities flow to you more easily. Don’t stress or focus on what’s not happening for you, but align your focus on what is. 

When I moved to Houston after I got laid off, I became a grant writer for a short amount of time before landing something more promising. I still wanted to work in news, and although grant writing was one of my dream jobs, I was still focusing on why new stations in the Houston area weren’t getting back to me. Not realizing life is just like the weather, the news station just wasn’t my season. I’m currently working for a non-profit, and co-hosting on the radio with my own segment. I'm sharing news like I wanted, but in a different light. 

We can have any and everything, but it just won’t happen the way we want it all the time. Some of us want love. Change your angle, and change your perspective. What are some things you can do to become softer? What are some areas you need to heal within yourself before moving on? How are your boundaries? What are your expectations? 

Some of us want a job that makes us happy. Change your angle, and change your perspective. What do you like to do? What would make that job promising? What qualifications do you have? What qualifications do you need? Take the steps and don’t be afraid of hard work, putting in long hours, or making sacrifices to get it. You deserve every good thing you want to happen in your life so start acting like it to receive endless opportunities. 

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