The Wedding Experience: The Key to Love

I went to my “first” wedding Saturday, May 31, 2025 with my dad. His friend's son got married to a beautiful young woman. Let me tell you, love is truly powerful. I can’t explain how many times I almost cried—actually, that’s exactly what I’m going to do. 

My very first wedding I was five years old and I didn’t know what it truly meant or how powerful the aura was. However, this time, I felt the ambiance through my body. Seeing a black and young couple make a commitment through vows in a generation that lacks empathy, trust, and loyalty was a kiss of reminder that love is real and true. 

I've always believed in love since I was a little girl. What little girl never wanted her prince and fairytale? Yet, as I got older I won’t lie the dream was getting blurred. It’s expected to have ups and downs but how come no one ever talks about the confusion, hurt, deceivement, betrayal, lust, and lies one can go through with not just one relationship but multiple. I can see why a lot of young women's (and men) vision of marriage and family has become weak. 

If you’ve asked a ten year old me: “When you get older, how do you see your life?”

At the age I am now I always thought I would be married. I thought I would be married with a gentle husband, a high excelling career, and a vibrant environment. I’ve always seen myself living far away, preferably on a farm raising a beautiful family. I’m currently an unmarried twenty five year old living in one of the biggest states in the United States. This was not part of the plan. As I get older my faith in marriage hasn't unwavered and I believe it is still in the cards for me however I’m coming to terms that maybe it’s not the fairytale I was expecting.

I’ve always been surrounded by marriages—I have family members that are married. I had a childhood friend whose parents were married. My parents were married. Now separated, they low-key hate each other from a lack of accountability, grudges, miscommunication, and lack of support. You would think it would make me change my mind about love but all it taught me is that if two people want to be together, they will make it work regardless. That is something this generation is lacking. We give up way too easily while being influenced by social media and friends who’ve been hurt. We listen to advice such as: 

“Just leave them”

“They will never change”

“Drop them”

“Let it go” 

“It’s not worth it”

We’re so anxiously traumatized we would give out advice from the guarded version of ourselves. Because we were hurt, we try to save others from feeling that without knowing the dynamic and ignoring the shared love of one’s relationship. Love is not easy, despite what and who we read and listen to. As Bell Hooks describes love is a relationship built on care, commitment, trust, knowledge, responsibility and respect. She states, “To truly love we must learn to mix various ingredients–care, affection, recognition, respect, commitment, and trust, as well as honest and open communication”. 

Let’s review the six pillars of love together. 

Inclusion. 

Empathy. 

Vulnerability. 

Trust.

Empowerment. 

Forgiveness. 

So I ask you, is love easy? 

Because if it was, we would all be married. 

The most exciting part of the wedding was seeing people come together to celebrate love through music, dancing, and expressing through sweet tales. The bride and groom first dancing on the floor was beautiful but what was more enjoyable was the groom and his mom dancing. The groom dedicated an entire song to his mom, expressing how she will always be his first lady and the bride dedicated a dance with her son, expressing how he will always be her first love. It was bittersweet because the dance was acknowledging no matter what or who you’re unionized with, the love shared between the other person will never change. 

Don’t give up on love. Giving up on love is like giving up on yourself. I want you to see you’re worth the commitment, the desirability to have and be in love. Don’t fall for the “hurt dramatics” as I like to call it. Single and hurt people would convince you it’s better to be alone or to accept shit because a person will never change. That’s not true. 

A shared life of love is more enjoyable. Just because it’s not happening now for you or your past (or current) relationship is not what you’ve expected doesn’t mean it never will. 

Heal from that hurt that keeps you guarded from others. 

Acknowledge and take accountability for the part and act that was your fault. Stop playing the victim. 

Trust that someone is coming into your life with your expectations met. 

Believe in forgiveness and trust.

After all, you truly deserve it. God and the universe didn’t create us to be alone. Genesis 2:18, "It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him".

The creation of Eve from Adam shows God's intent is for us to be in a relationship with someone. We are not meant to be alone. companionship is essential for the fullness of life. 

I hope you take what resonates. Comment and share as a show of kindness that someone deserves the love they’re looking for.