Live. Laugh. Grow.

Speaking life into someone brings me joy because, as a person who grew up struggling with plenty of insecurities and didn’t have the support of people who spoke life into me, I can understand how someone can feel critical, unworthy, and pessimistic about themselves. As I got older, I reflected and healed myself. I love my family, but I didn’t grow up hearing, “you’re beautiful", “someone is going to love you”, or “you’re destined to be someone in this world”. I know my parents love me, and I know they would do anything for me, but there’s more to providing when you’re raising someone. 

I got older and realized how I felt about myself wasn’t normal, and the things I allowed to happen to me were because of how I felt about myself. I should’ve been thinking of myself in the highest form possible. Now, as a 25-year-old baddie, I have grown into a young woman my 14-year-old self would adore and love. Now, as a 25-year-old, I see my old self in people through conversations and social media. It’s painful to watch beautiful women feel insecure and not feel loved enough by people who disrespect and belittle them.

 However, when I went through my reflection and shadow period, I not only learned that it’s only you who has to build yourself up, but it’s also your responsibility. “No one is going to save you” is probably the hardest-hitting wall you may run into. I am someone who will self-pity myself into depression, and at that realization, I came to terms that I will only continue to feel like this if I allow myself to. When you outgrow the old version of yourself and you’re surrounded by people who resemble or trigger your past, it’s easy to shrink back to a shell. 

DON’T. When you go through self-reflection and are healed, you do have moments of needing “validation”. You want someone to approve of your growth and the new person you’ve become, and it’s normal to need it from your closest friends and family. 

But, what if your closest friends and family are insecure? How do you handle that? 

You will never get validation from other insecure people. Oftentimes, people are a reflection. If they feel any negative feelings about themselves, they will find the most critical things about you, said or unsaid. They will never accept your growth, no matter how small or big it is, because it’s hard to do that for themselves. If someone is highly critical of themselves, they will never get the love, compliments, and appreciation you offer to them. Don’t take it personally. It can be hard for someone to acknowledge your growth because they want to do the same thing. For whatever reason, they’re stuck in a rut or complacent with growth, and this creates secret animosity, distance, and masking. 

The struggle of growing is finding other friends with whom you can grow together, to accept your growth, or to inspire them to grow. 

I think it’s true. The older you get, the more stubborn you are. It’s easier to accept a mentality that this is the best it’s going to get rather than doing the inner work (no matter how that may look) to improve yourself and the quality of your life. 

When you need validation, validate yourself.

 I have a list of things I’ve accomplished written in my notes. When I feel down, I re-read that list. You will get to a point where you can tell yourself all the things you need to hear, and you won’t need to hear from your friends or family:

“I love the person you’ve become.” 

“You’re beautiful.”

“You overcame a lot.” 

“You’re doing great in life.” 

“You look great.”

“Love will find you.” 

“Someone is going to be lucky to have you.”

We all need someone who can reassure us, but it feels good when you can do it yourself. You will be able to liberate and express yourself to the point you don’t need anyone to confirm it. It took a long time for me to get to the space I am now, but that’s one of the reasons why I do speak life into people, because I want them to be able to do it for themselves as well. You love yourself more, and you give love freely when you’re able to grow like that. I encourage everyone to make a list of things you’ve overcome and read it every morning when you wake up and every night before you go to sleep. This will help you unintentionally become more confident, lovable, and worthy. 

Let’s stop being critical of ourselves. 

You are beautiful. You are powerful. You’re on the right track in life. You’ve done so much to make yourself proud. You’re outstanding. You’re better than you think! You've come so far, and where you’re going is limitless. You can do and be anything you want to be. 

Love yourself more because you deserve it. Show love because you don’t know who needs it. Give love because we both need it. 

Like, comment, and share this post to show someone you love them and accept them for who they are. Let’s grow together.