Are your 20s the New Mid-Life Crisis?

As a 25-year-old, I didn’t think my life would be like it is now. Don’t get me wrong, I love my life and damn proud of the things I have accomplished. However, I thought I would be a lot further than where I am now. I think we all can agree on that.

 Yes, I graduated high school (for many this is a big stepping stone), college (by the Grace of God if we’re being honest), my first dream job, succeeded in having my first apartment, and worked at plenty of places I only hoped to be employed when I was a young girl. 

You may have accomplished the same things. 

You graduated.

You travel.  

You got your car. 

You've got a beautiful place. 

You have an amazing relationship. 

Sometimes, it feels like something is missing. You’re not in your career yet, money is slow, and you’re not able to get everything you’ve dreamed of. 

People say we have to see the big picture. That's the problem. When all you see is the big picture, we forget the little scrapbooks and snapshots that have taken place along the journey. As a person who wants to reach the sun, stars, and the moon, I feel like I’m always lacking in something, and it stems from my "big picture". 

We should treat our lives like Snapchat. We should continuously look back on our past to remind ourselves where it's taking us for our future. Don't count your mistakes or dwell on them; acknowledge your WINS. Your losses don't matter, and it doesn't define you as a person. Oftentimes, because of that, we tend to worry about what people will think.

"What will people think of me?"

"Well, I told people this was going to happen, and it didn't."

"I must look like a failure...liar...dreamer..."

The most critical people are scared. They're scared to dream, to do, and to act. Don't let the opinions of people who wouldn't dare do what you're trying to achieve make you weary of your dreams and goals.

Here's a tip: supportive people aren't critical. Go where you're loved so your dreams don't seem so head-in-the-clouds.

“A midlife crisis is a psychological period, typically occurring between the ages of 40 and 60, where individuals may experience self-doubt, introspection, and emotional turmoil as they reevaluate their identity and life choices”. 

Why does that sound like that’s happening now? 

I’M ONLY 25! 

I think social media, what we consume, and the nature of the economy make us feel inadequate. 

A great reminder is that you did it alone. For some of us, you take care of your kids alone, you graduate by yourself, get your car by yourself, afford your bills alone, manage your job, and face difficulties you shouldn’t have in the first place—all alone. If that’s not the greatest accomplishment, then I don’t know what is. 

Comparison is the thief of joy. You can’t compare your life to someone else’s whose life is funded by a business, their parents, partners, or scams. You two aren’t nearly riding the same wave. We see young people on social media have these luxuries of life, and don’t have a clue how they're getting them. That’s okay, and congratulations to them! We aren’t all meant to lead the same life in the same way. Don’t rush yourself because you’re feeling like you’re in last place.

I see people my age travel all the time. They’re everywhere and have been to many places. I never got the luxury yet because I’ve always been career-driven. It’s doable to travel and be career-driven; however, for my life, that’s not the case. I used to get frustrated at not being able to join trips or successfully plan one myself because I have to work, not realizing that’s a blessing to be able to work in the career you want. Would I rather travel and come back to a miserable job, or work my dream job and not be able to travel? 

We forget what the simple luxuries are and complain or drain ourselves from what we feel unfulfilled in. 

To be in your own space is a luxury. 

To be in a happy relationship is a luxury.

To travel is a luxury. 

Having a job is a luxury. 

To be taken care of is a luxury. 

We all have our luxuries, and that’s what we should focus on. Focusing on other people’s luxuries will only discourage us from creating and celebrating our own. Discouragement is human nature. 

We see people graduate within four years and hope it can be us next. But no one talks about how hard it is for you. Why is it taking you so long? And that is when your “mid-life crisis” starts to form. 

It’s completely normal to have self-doubt. 

“I’m not where I want to be yet”.

“I can’t possibly do this by myself”. 

“I have so much to work on”. 

“When am I ever going to find the right partner… graduate…get my place…get a car…”

I believe forty-year-olds' “mid-life crisis” is the twenty-year-olds' “I got to lock in”. 

What are we locking in for and why? 

We feel like we’re not going hard enough, we’re not further evolved, we’re in a turtle race, or slacking in a certain area of our lives. While it may be a half-truth, half-life, we not only forget to pat ourselves on the back for what we did accomplish, but we don’t pat ourselves enough. One pat on the back is not enough. KEEP PATTING. 

Your life isn’t over, and to be fair, it’s just getting started. The forty-year-olds who do go through a mid-life crisis didn’t have the time to be their 20-something-year-old selves when they had the opportunity. Having kids, tribulations, and struggles forced them to grow older than they were or both. It’s the only logic why many dress the way they do and act immature–they're reliving something they didn’t have the chance to do. 

This won't be you because you're chasing life now. Don't let life chase you where you feel like you're playing catch-up in your own life.

Your 20s are not your midlife crisis. After the self-doubt, I realize this is only the beginning, and everything I’ve experienced is not the end.

For many of us, it’s our first “no, not yet, canceled, try again, and maybe next time”. 

This all builds character. This is part of your story.

Yet, stress is easier to do than the work to accomplish our goals, and we’re stressed because we’re not where we want to be. Don't let stress consume you and stray you away from your destination.

I don’t have everything, but I’m grateful to work in places that can further my goals in life.

I'm grateful for the opportunities accomplished.

I'm grateful for the few supportive friends I do have.

I'm grateful to be creative.

What are you grateful for that others may take advantage of? 

Maybe it’s the support from your partner, parents, village, and friends. 

Some don’t have that. 

What you may think is a crisis might be your blessing in disguise. Your accomplishments aren’t someone else's, and theirs are not yours. Forget the rabbit and turtle race and make your own. Remind yourself of everything you’ve done and how you’ve done it alone. Be your superhero.

That’s the beauty in it, you’re your saving grace. 

Like this post, comment and share to a friend as a reminder to KEEP GOING. See you at the finish line beauty!