SS#1

Sedulous I want talk about men wanting one faithful girl to their self but then feeling insecure so they go and cheat behind ya back because they can’t fathom the insecurities that come with having a bad bitch/it girl/independent woman

—-Meredith Grey 

At the beginning of relationships, everything seems like a fairytale. Two people are in love, it feels new, refreshing, like rainbows and sunshine. Then, an argument or situation happens where you get to see your partner respond emotionally. You finally see your partner's toxic traits and vice versa. Now, both of your heads are on a swivel. You feel like you have to keep an eye on them, or the trust will decline. 

Men and women cheat. We’re flawed humans. We won't point fingers and play the blame game. As a woman, it’s simple, we cheat because we’re unsatisfied physically and mentally. Men cheat because of their greed, immaturity, and insecurities. 

I took the topic to Instagram and here are some of the responses I received. 

“Cheating is a outlet, we usually look for the thing our main person lacks”.

—INSTAGRAM USER 

“Half of the time we cheat without trying tbh #freegame”.

—INSTAGRAM USER 

“Some men can see that woman’s light and all they want is to destroy her light. It’s crazy.”

—J

“I think men just like convenience and he gone fw whoever make shit easy for him to.”

—INSTAGRAM USER 

What concerns me the most is that men would cheat for whatever reason and wouldn’t communicate this with the person they wish out of fear that the woman will leave them. Honesty is what every woman does, regardless of how hard the truth is to handle. But of course, an immature man wants his cake, your cake, and your homegirl’s too. 

If a man is insecure of the woman he’s dating, he’s threatened by how she makes life look so easy. 

How can the woman I’m sleeping with every night make life look so easy when it’s so hard for me? 

“They’re jealous of how the world perceives us as opposed to them, they feel as though a safe space isn’t created for them, or they get the short end of the stick, or we may have access to more things they do.” 

—C

They start thinking you don’t deserve it, and you should feel the struggle like them. They’re not jealous because you’re a baddie, but because it’s much easier to be a black woman than to be a black man. As a young black person, it’s already hard now, and it’s only going to get harder as we age. Black men have more expectations to uphold than any other person in this world. They face criticism in their occupation, forced to be the caregiver of their family, the provider in their relationship, while still having a social life and upholding the mental health they don’t take care of. 

A lot of men are secretly intimidated by a successful black woman because of how hard it is to be successful as a black man. Black men have to work thrice as hard to succeed, to be seen, loved, and appreciated.

 When a black man comes home at the end of the day, he needs a safe place. He needs someone who will tell him all the sweet things and take care of him in return. A man doesn't want to come home to a woman who’s complaining about what he needs to do and how he should do it. Hence why a lot of men are obsessed and in love with their mom. I guess it’s true, no one will love you like your mom. Yet, as his partner, you do indeed need to be there for him when he needs you, even in the moments you think he doesn't. Be easy-going with him. A lot of women like to brag about being hard on a man, bratty, deceiving, or the latest term, “give them hell”. If a man enjoys or tolerates this, he has severe deep childhood wounds that he won’t accept while subconsciously hating himself, believing he deserves that treatment. 

“There are men with good habits and men with bad habits. Men with good habits in life tend to be women who complement those habits. Men with bad habits in life put up with disrespect and end up chasing the p**** because they have no purpose; everything else comes before themselves. A woman will want to be of convenience to a man she actually admires and respects because in return she will benefit. But there’s not enough of those men to go around.” 

—Nubian King

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